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The seven stages of Domain Registering Disorder

This blog post describes the seven stages of DRD, or Domain Registering Disorder, which is commonly seen in male and female web developers. The disorder manifests itself as the registering of domain names which the individuals claim they will “use for a cool project”.

DRD is not to be confused with DDHD (Despicable Domain Hoarders Disease) which is a disorder where people buy hundreds of domain names out of greed.

DRD is not a contagious disorder, but rather one that can be triggered by the environment of the patient; it is simulated by the low cost and simplicity of registering a domain name.

The seven stages of DRD, which can evolve into DHD – where the client reaches a stages where he holds onto the domain names for 2-3 years – are the following:

The seven stages revealed

1. The patient has got an idea for a website, and claims “it will be great!”. Often, the idea is undefined (and not that great).

2. The domain name is purchased. The conviction they’re going to build a terrific website is growing stronger.

3. Thinking about how great the project will turn out, all important TLD’s are also registered (and sometimes national TLD’s.) They utter it “is a solid investment” and that they are “protecting their brand.”

3B. They may or may not buy variations of the domain name, depending on their budget. They register them “for future use” or to “further protect their investment.”

4. After receiving the confirmation that they purchased the domain name, they feel all warm inside.

4B. Some patients immediately feel a sense of regret and frustration. “Why did I register that domain name,” they shout. “Why !?”

5. In the next stage, the pathology differs from case to case. Some people will buy hosting and upload a splash page, others connect it to their server, others might never touch the domain. Some install their favorite CMS only to never change something beyond the default setup. Some manage to build something that offers a glimpse of the “great site” it could become.

After one year

6. After one year, the “Renewal” stage is reached. The patient will either justify renewing the domain name, citing the price, claiming “it’s only €11!” (‘forgetting’ that’s 11x 7), the “incredible potential” (Oh yeah, I remember. That was a great idea. Although I don’t have any notes I’m sure I’m going to build it THIS YEAR.”), or through more irrational reasoning like greed. We heard one patient hiss “My preciousssssss, they can’t have it!” before jumping at the throath of our researcher.

The Canceling phase

When the patient instead chooses not to renew the domain, he will cancel the domain name. This usually requires a lot of effort and strength from the patient. He or she will experience doubt and anxiety, before and after canceling the domains.

In some cases, they will also experience rage as they wanted to cancel and noticed Blowdaddy automagically renewed the domain two months too early, but that’s a different subject matter.

The renewal phase

7. When a patient decided to renew the domain, he will go trough stage six annually. He might feel regret, head aches and (financial) pain between two episodes. The stage will repeat itself until the patient either cancels the domain (most common) or builds the awesome website that caused him to register the domain (very rare).

How to cure

Unfortunately, the medical world does not have a cure for this problem – nor do they recognize it’s existence, asking dumb questions like “What is a domain name?” when confronted with the problem – which means that the patient will have to fight this disease on it’s own. It’s rumored that a lack of funds or a slap on the wrist from the significant other (“You spend a thousand dollars per year on WHAT?”) could help the patient.

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